How these creatures act in society
"You should have seen last night's antics, Hugh, banter of epic proportions. Messy night. Tarquin is a legend!" first thing's first, why do they all feel the need to use the word 'antics'? this makes me furious. Secondly, the 'epic banter' you're describing wasn't epic, epic banter is stabbing someone's nan in the leg with a biro for a laugh, not 'fraping' someone and writing "I'm gay lol x". Also, it wasn't a messy night was it, mate. You had two pints of Fosters, and woke up in your bed with a street cone on the carpet. Messy is snorting so much Ketamine you're found lying in a bush at 6:00am screaming at your legs with someone else's vomit on your Hugo Boss polo. Why on earth do these scumbags think there's something special about sitting in Starbucks? Starbucks is fucking shit anyway. Just because you've bought a shit cup of coffee doesn't mean you need to sit in the fucking shop all day reading a fucking book with your fucking shit mates while taking photos of a fucking cup of coffee which no one wants to look at. NO ONE is arsed about your fucking coffee. Do not take a photo of a Starbucks cup, you fucking animals. There must be millions of photos of Starbucks cups on the internet. While I'm on the subject of shit photos, i'll talk about Instagram. Instagram, Instagram, Instagram, fucking Instagram. Just because you have an app on your phone, it does not make you a photographer, this does not give you the right to take pictures of dust collecting on a wooden shelf or a rusty bike chain, seriously though, no one is arsed about your photos, even if they're in black and white. Just fuck off. That's enough talking about Instagram because the very thought of it makes me want to run into my sister's room and just fucking bladder her with a baseball bat. These cunts also feel the need to pay by debit card EVERY FUCKING WHERE, taking 250 years to pay for their items costing £2.75, lad you're buying a fucking pasty and a Lucozade, not a car, hand over some change you dirty finger nailed cretin. These gobshites can also be seen riding bikes too big for them that look 364 years old, updating their shitty blog about vintage clothes and drinking tea.
No one is arsed about this picture.
How to spot these creatures
There are two main types of student dickheads that I am talking about, the 'hispter' and the famous 'banter boyz'.
First of all, these hipster cunts deserve nothing from life, if I had my way I'd lock them in a concrete box, feed them a piece of bread each day and a good fucking leathering with a plank of wood. There is nothing cool about dressing like autistic OAPs. Nothing. Why do they do it? Wearing a snide pair of fucking brown winklepickers seven hundred sizes too big, with a pair of skinny jeans/chinos/whatever takes their fancy while shopping in the charity shop, because charity shops are cool now if you didn't know. With a dirty, horrible shirt with about 392 patterns looking like a walking fucking acid trip. Topped off with a disgustingly cool cardigan stolen from their nan's cupboard when they were visiting last summer. Bastards. Fucking bastards. These gobshites usually look like starving ethiopians, but white, this is due to the fact that they don't eat meat because being a vegatarian is fucking cool.. apparently, well Morrissey told them it is, so it must be. Shit curly wog heads and a snide muzzy is a very common look on these sick and twisted individuals.
Where do I start with his other gang of horrible little shits. The hair gel brigade AKA the worm firm AKA should have been fucking drowned at birth. These massive, massive wools are just walking advertisements for abortions, parents, do not let your children look like this. Spikey hair, cleavage shirts, chinos and toms. Don't you look fucking boss. No, you don't, because no one in their right mind wants to see your fucking cleavage so put on a proper shirt and fuck off you dirty, sweaty cunt. Do you know what, I'm going to stop talking about these cunts because I'm already to the point of rage.
Boss webs them, lad.
If you don't like the word 'fucking' this blog isn't for you. But you've already read it. Soz.
