#TinheadForPM

Dear people of Britain, this is your future leader speaking, for too long this once great country has been run by absolute fucking weapons, but most of all wools. This country is wool as fuck. People have been allowed to bounce around in low cut V neck t shirts, elasticated chinos and Toms. TOMS. This has set the tone of the country, and it's not a fucking good tone.

With the help of my PR man, @ThomasKingsley I have become the people's choice. I will deliever what the people want, the people don't want higher taxes and less jobs, so swerve it Cameron, they want Lemo on tap, Ketamine, Garys and Green all over the gaff. I will make this dream become a reality.

Laws and that
Police are a thing of the past, bizzies and Matrix are horrible, grasses who got bullied at school, grassing is wool and no one likes a grass. I will have a firm of lads who will deal with any trouble on our streets. For example, two lads scrapping in a pub, my firm bounce up and give them both a couple of Garys, minutes later they'll be hugging eachother and be best mates. Violence will be gone.

Firstly, there is an absolute abomination roaming our streets, this train wreck of a 'human being' is known as the 'Gail Platt', I'm sure you are all aware of this, what I can only describe as a creature. Gail Platt will no longer be treated as a human being, but a creature, an animal, she will be locked up in a cage and fed maggots and other mancs. If you see this beast in the streets, feel free to spit on her, kick her dead hard in the shins or simply call her a Custard Cream faced cretin.

Ketamine, Beak, Garys and Green will all be legalised and available on prescription, just go in to your doctor, tell him you fancy chewing your grid off and the drugs will be handed over.

Monday mornings are shit. They will be fucked off and replaced with 'Sit Off Morning', you may choose to get chonged with the boys, finger a bird or just stay in bed until 12am. The choice is yours. Fuck off Monday morning.

Wool clothing. TOMS, elasticated chinos and the likes will be forbidden. Anyone seen wearing any shit clobber will be hung. Simple as that. Wool clothing = Death penalty. It's really not worth it you gang of spikey haired cunts.

Fingering will be encouraged across the nation, Fridays will become #FingerAFridgeFriday and there will be adverts on national television about fingering, I will also introduce posters and lessons in schools across the country, including warm apple pies to practice your fingering skills.

Like to wear Slipknot hoodies, drink Monster energy drinks, type this 'xD' face and sit on the floor in town you scruffy twat? Not anymore. Emos will be fucked off completely. Sent to concentration camps where they can concentrate on being fucking normal.

Convicted Paedophiles, rapists and sex offenders, I'm speaking to you, I'm sure there's probably some of you reading this right now you dirty cunts, you will be sent into a room with nothing but Purple Aki and a year's supply of Viagra. You will be tortured by Aki until he is satisfied. You will then be executed.

Manchester - Manchester will be turned into a ghetto, it already is a fucking ghetto but a proper one. I will treat all mancs like the Nazi's treated the Jews, not arsed. Although fit ones can become sex slaves, lap dancers etc. For example Michelle Keegan will be sold into slavery. Decent.

Kelvin fucking MacKenzie. He will be locked in a room 24/7, this room will be too small for him to stand up but too small for him to lie down, he will be given a choice of two water bottles every day. One is infected with AIDS, the other is normal tap water. Choose wisely Kelvin you disgusting, piece of shit.

Immigration
My stance on immigration is a strict but fair one, immigrants will only be allowed in this country if they have something to offer, For example, doctors can come. But not only doctors, Colombian's can bring boss beak, Jamaicans can bring peng weed and Eastern European's can bring their sister's who will be used as brasses.

Taxes
I'm sure about 80% of you reading this don't pay taxes anyway #scouse but for those that do, if you are scouse, you will not pay taxes. It's only fair. Bankers, Torys and anyone who speaks with a posh accent will automatically be made to pay more.

If you have any questions they will all be answered.

#VoteTinhead #VoteLife #TinheadForPM #FTM #FingerAFridgeFriday #GinaYashereIsNotFunny